Friday, December 25, 2009

Robin S. Sharma - The Monk who sold his Ferrari

The Mystical Fable

You are sitting in the middle of a magnificent, lush, green garden. This garden is filled with the most spectacular flowers you have ever seen. The environment is supremely tranquil and silent. Savor the sensual delights of this garden and feel as if you have all the time in the world to enjoy this natural oasis. As you look around you see that in the center of this magical garden stands a towering, red lighthouse, six stories high. Suddenly, the silence of the garden is disturbed by a loud creaking as the door at the base of the lighthouse opens. Out stumbles a nine-foot-tall, nine-hundred-pound Japanese sumo wrestler who casually wanders into the center of the garden. He is naked except for the pink wire cable covering his private parts.
As this sumo wrestler starts to move around the garden, he finds a shiny gold stopwatch which someone had left behind many years earlier. He slips it on, and falls to the ground with an enormous thud. The sumo wrestler is rendered unconscious and lies there, silent and still. Just when you think he has taken his last breath, the wrestler awakens, perhaps stirred by the fragrance of some fresh yellow roses blooming nearby. Energized, the wrestler jumps swiftly to his feet and intuitively looks to his left. He is startled by what he sees. Through the bushes at the very edge of the garden he observes a long winding path covered by millions of sparkling diamonds. Something seems to instruct the wrestler to take the path, and to his credit, he does. This path leads him down the road of everlasting joy and eternal bliss.

1 Master your Mind = Magnificent garden

The mind is like a fertile garden and for it to flourish, you must nurture it daily. Never let the weeds of impure thought and action take the garden of your mind. Keep it healthy and strong – it will work miracles in your life.
Self-mastery and the consistent care of one´s mind, body and soul are essential to finding one´s highest self and living the life of one´s dreams.

How can you care for others if you cannot even care for yourself?
How can you do good if you do not even feel good?
You cannot love the others if you cannot love yourself.

There are no mistakes in life, only lessons. There is no such a thing as negative experience, only opportunities to grow, learn and advance along the road of self-mastery. From struggle comes strength. Even pain can be a wonderful teacher. Do not judge events as either positive or negative. Rather, simply experience them, celebrate them, learn from them. If you meet with an outcome you did not expect and you feel a little disappointed, remember that the laws of nature always ensure that when one door closes another opens.
Great dreamer´s dreams are never fulfilled, they are always transcended. I have had dreams and I have had nightmares. I overcame nightmares because of my dreams. Awaken yourself to the power of your own mind to make things happen. Once you do, the universe will conspire with you to work magic in your life. The boundaries of your life are merely creations of the self.

The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master. If you become a negative thinker, this is because you have not cared for your mind and taken the time to train it to focus on the good. Winston Churchill said: The price of greatness is responsibility over each of your thoughts. The mind truly is like any other muscle in your body. Use it or lose it. Either you control your mind or it controls you. The trained mind is a wonderful servant, able to do extraordinary things for you.

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your thoughts. If you want to live a more peaceful, meaningful life, you must think more peaceful, meaningful thoughts.

Always remember that concentration is at the root of mental mastery. The very fact that you have a desire or a dream means that you have the corresponding capacity to realize it. However, to liberate the power of the mind, you must first be able to harness it and direct its focus only to the task at hand. The moment you concentrate the focus of your mind on a singular purpose, extraordinary gifts will appear within your life. More you devote your energy to your goal, more time it will take to reach it. With one eye fixed on the destination, there is only one left to guide you along the journey. Be patient and live with the knowledge that all you are searching for is certain to come if you prepare for it and expect it. Luck is nothing more than the marriage of preparation with opportunity.

The secret of happiness is simple - find out what you truly love to do and then direct all of your energy towards doing it. Once you do this, abundance flows into your life and all your desires are filled with ease and grace.

Victor Frankl said: Success, like happiness, cannot be pursued. It must ensue. And it only does so as the unintended side effect of one´s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself.

Most people live within the confines of their comfort zone. The best thing you can do for yourself is regularly move beyond it. People grow the most when they enter the Zone of the Unknown. This is the way to lasting personal mastery and to realize the true potential of your human endowments (mind, body, soul). When you dare to get out of your circle of comfort and explore the unknown, you start to liberate your true human potential. The only limits on your life are those that you set yourself.

Heart of the Rose
All you need is a fresh rose and a silent place, a quiet room will do nicely. Start to stare at the center of the rose, its heart. A rose is like a life - you will meet thorns along the way but if you have faith and believe in your dreams you will eventually move beyond the thorns into the glory of the flower. Keep staring at the rose, notice its color, texture and design, savor its fragrance and think only about this wonderful object in front of you. At first other thoughts will start entering your mind, but you need not worry. Soon your mind will grow strong and disciplined.

Try the Heart of the Rose method at the same time every day and in the same place, every day. There is tremendous power in a ritual.

Opposition Thinking
The mind can only hold one thought at any one time. When an undesirable thought occupies the focal point of your mind, immediately replace it with an uplifting one. You cannot afford the luxury of even one negative thought. A worrisome thought is like an embryo – it starts off small but grows and grows. Soon it takes on a life of its own.

Natural diet, the repetition of positive affirmations (mantras), reading books rich with wisdom, Heart of the Rose technique and Opposition Thinking gives the inspiring happy life.

Thoughts are vital, living things, little bundles of energy. Weak minds lead to weak actions. A strong, disciplined mind, which anyone can cultivate through daily practice, can achieve miracles. If you want to live life to the fullest, care for your thoughts as your would your most prized possessions. Everything is always created twice, first in the mind and then in reality. If you hope to make remarkable improvements in your outer world you must first start within and change the caliber of your thoughts.

The mind works through pictures. Pictures affect your self-image and your self-image affects the way you feel, act and achieve. If your self-image tells you that you are too old to change your habits for the better, you never will achieve these goals. When you run inspiring, imaginative pictures through the movie screen of your mind, wonderful things start to happen in your life. Einstein said: Imagination is more important than knowledge. You must spend some time every day in practice of creative envisioning. See yourself as you want to be.

Secret of the Lake
You can practice this method in your own living room or at the office. Shut your door, hold all calls and close your eyes. Then take a few deep breaths. After two or three minutes you will start to feel relaxed. Visualize mental pictures of all that you want to be, to have and to attain in your life. Mentally rehearse the way you will govern your actions when a similar scene unfolds on the canvas of reality. If there is a lack in your life it is because there is a lack in your thoughts.

There is nothing noble about being superior to some other person. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self. If you want to improve your life and live with all that you deserve you must run your own race. It does not matter what other people say about you. What is important is what you say to yourself. Do not be concerned with the judgment of others as long as you know what you are doing is right. Every second you spend thinking about someone else´s dreams you take time away from your own.

Fatigue is a creation of the mind. Fatigue dominates the lives of those who are living without direction and dreams. When you consistently direct your mind to live in the present you will always have boundless energy, no matter what time the clock reflects.

I am an artist at living – my work of art is my life. My I can is more important than my I.Q. Life is no brief candle for me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations. Most people live – whether physically, intellectually or morally – in a very restricted circle of their potential being. We all have reservoirs of life to draw upon of which we do not dream.

2 Follow Your Purpose = Towering Lighthouse

The lighthouse represents the power of goals and the importance of discovering your calling in life.

When you clearly know what aims you wish to achieve over the course of your life, be they material, emotional, physical or spiritual, and you spend your days accomplishing them, you will ultimately find eternal joy. But you must know your life´s aim and then manifest this vision into reality by consistent action. That is Dharma – life´s purpose. Lifelong contentment will come from the fulfillment of your Dharma. Life pretty much gives you what you ask from it. Most people want to feel better, have more energy. Yet, when you ask them to tell you precisely what it is they want, they have no answer. You change your life the moment you set your goals and start to seek out your Dharma.

The purpose of life is a life of purpose. Those who are truly enlightened know what they want out of life, emotionally, materially, physically and spiritually. Clearly defined priorities and goals for every aspect of your life will offer you guidance and refuge when the times become tough. Everything the sage does has a purpose and he knows he has a duty to fulfill his life. Achievement need not be of the material sort. The sage´s objectives are to attain peace of mind, self-mastery and enlightenment. The real source of happiness can be stated in a word – achievement. Lasting happiness comes from steadily working to accomplish your goals and advancing confidently in the direction of your life´s purpose. Discovering and then realizing your lifework brings lasting fulfillment.

Benjamin Disraeli said: The secret of success is constancy of purpose. The happiness you are searching for comes through reflecting on the worthy aims you are dedicated to achieving and then taking action daily to advance them. Those things that are most important should never be sacrificed to those things that are the least important. The key is to have the discipline and vision to see your heroic mission and to ensure that it serves other people while you realize it.

Every one of us has a heroic mission while we walk this Earth. We have all been granted a unique set of gifts and talents that will readily allow us to realize this lifework. The key is to discover them, and in doing so, discover the main objective of our life. There is always the apparent risk that comes with self-examination and soul searching. But there is never a risk in discovering yourself and the mission of your life. Self-knowledge is the DNA of self-enlightenment.

You will never be able to hit a target that you cannot see. People spend their whole lives dreaming of becoming happier, yet they do not see the importance of taking even ten minutes a month to write out their goals and to think deeply about the meaning of their lives, their Dharma. Setting clearly defined objectives for what we desire in our mental, physical and spiritual world is critical to their realization. I have clearly defined objectives with respect to the peace of mind I desire, the energy I bring to each day and the love that I offer to all those around me. Goal-setting is the starting point. Mapping out your objectives and your goals releases the creative juices that get you on the path of your purpose. You master the art of goal-setting – and goal getting – by starting off small. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Set clearly defined personal, professional and spiritual goals, and then have the courage to act on them. Use Joriki – concentrated mind. Concentrate every ounce of your mental energy on self-discovery. Learn what you excel at and what makes you happy. Whatever it is, find your passion and then follow it. Awaken your mind to the abundance of possibility around you. Start to live with more zest. The human mind is the world´s largest filtering device. When used properly it filters out what you perceive as unimportant and gives you only the information you are looking for at that time.

Dream Book
A goal that is not committed to a paper is no goal at all. Go out and buy a notepad. Call this your Dream Book and fill it with all your desires, objectives and dreams. Get to know yourself and what you are all about. Chinese define image in these terms – there are three mirrors that form a person´s reflection; the first is how you see yourself, the second is how others see you and the third mirror reflects the truth. Know yourself, know the truth.

Divide your Dream Book into separate sections for goals relating to the different areas of your life (relationship, social, career). Fill your Dream Book with pictures of the things you desire and images of people who have cultivated the abilities, talents and qualities that you hope to emulate.
Review this book daily, even for a few minutes. Make it your friend.

Who wishes to improve the quality of one´s inner and outer worlds would do well to take out a piece of paper and start writing out one´s life aims. Know your outcome. We each think about 60,000 thoughts on an average day. By writing out your desires and goals on a piece of paper, you send a red flag to your subconscious mind that these thoughts are far more important than the remaining 59,999 other ones. You mind will then start to seek out all opportunities to realize your destiny like a guided missile.

Five-Step Method to reach objectives and fulfill the purpose of the life

1st Step – Vision
Form a clear mental image of the outcome. If this is to be more joyful, every morning just after I wake up, I am to envision myself and cheerful smiling person full of vitality and boundless energy. The clearer this mental picture is, the more effective the process will be.

2nd Step – Positive Pressure
The main reason people do not follow through on any resolutions they make is that it is too easy to slip back into their old ways. Pressure can inspire you to achieve great ends. People generally achieve magnificent things when their backs are up against the wall and they are forced to tap into the wellspring of human potential that lies within them. The best way is the public pledge. Tell everyone you know about your new goal. Once you make your goal known to the world, there will instantly be pressure on you to work towards its fulfillment since no one likes to look like a failure.

3rd Step – Deadline
Never set a goal without attaching a timeline to it. To breathe life into a goal you must attach a precise deadline to it.

4th Step – Magic Rule of 21
Bad habits can never be erased, but they can be replaced. The only way to permanently install a new habit is to direct so much energy toward it that the old one slips away like and unwelcome house guest. The installation is generally complete in about twenty-one days, the time it takes to create a new neural pathway.

5th Step – Enjoy
Enjoy the process. A day without laughter or a day without love is a day without life.

Never forget the importance of living with unbridled exhilaration. Never neglect to see the exquisite beauty in all living things. Today, and this very moment, is a gift. Stay focused on your purpose. The Universe will take care of everything else. Remain spirited, joyful and curious. Stay focused on your lifework and on giving selfless service to others. Never regret what has happened in the past.

Passion for life is what you must constantly keep at the forefront of your mind as you follow your mission and attain your goals. A burning sense of passion is the most potent fuel for your dreams. We do not do things because we love to do them. We do things because we feel we have to do them. This is a formula for misery. Reclaim the joy of waking up every morning full of energy and exhilaration. Breathe the fire of passion into all that you do.

Take complete control of your life. Decide, once and for all, to be the master of your fate. Run your own race. Discover your calling and you will start to experience the ecstacy of an inspired life. Today, and this very moment, is a gift. Always remember that what lies behind you and what lies in front of you is nothing when compared to what lies within you. Trust yourself. Create the kind of life you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into the flames of achievement.

Never do anything because you have to. The only reason to do something is because you want to do and because you know it is the right thing for you to do. Goethe said: We are shaped and fashioned by what we love. Enthusiasm is one of the key ingredients for a lifetime of successful living. People who study others are wise but those who study themselves are enlightened.

If you can´t laugh at yourself who can you laugh at? One of my problems was that I took life too seriously. Now I am much more playful and childlike. I enjoy all of life´s gifts, no matter how small they are.

3 Practice Kaizen = Sumo Wrestler

The sumo wrestler represents a very important element in the life-changing system. Many centuries ago in the ancient East, the great teachers developed and refined a philosophy called kaizen. This Japanese word means constant and never-ending improvement and enrichment of the mind, body and soul.

Mind, body and soul is the trilogy of human endowments. To improve your mind without the cultivation of your physical gifts would be a very hollow victory. When you dedicate your energies to unlocking the full potential of all three of your human endowments, you will taste the divine ecstacy of an enlightened life.

Enlightenment comes through the consistent cultivation of your mind, body and soul. The more you think about what you would like to change about yourself, the more potential improvements you can see. If you want to improve your outer world, you must first improve your inner world. The most effective way to do this is through the practice of continuous self-improvement. Self-mastery is the DNA of life mastery.

Take the time to build a strong character full of discipline, energy, power and optimism, then you can have anything and do anything you want in your outer world. Good people strengthen themselves ceaselessly. Building strength of character, developing mental toughness and living with courage lead to a virtuous life filled with achievement, satisfaction and inner peace. When you have cultivated a deep sense of faith in your abilities and an indomitable spirit, nothing can stop you from succeeding in all your pursuits and living with great rewards. Taking the time to master your mind, to care for the body and to nourish your soul will put you in a position to develop more richness and vitality in your life. Epictetus said: No man is free who is not a master of himself.

In our society, we all too often label the ignorant as weak. However, those who express their lack of knowledge and seek instruction find the path to enlightenment before anyone else.

Change is the most powerful force in our society today. Most people fear it, the wise embrace it. Zen tradition speaks of a beginner´s mind: those who keep their minds open to new concepts – those whose cups are always empty – will always move to higher levels of achievement and fulfillment. Questions are the most effective method of eliciting knowledge.

Courage allows you to run your own race. Courage allows you to do whatever you want to do because you know that it is right. Courage gives you the self-control to persist where others have failed. Those who master themselves have an abundance of courage.

You practice the art of kaizen by pushing yourself daily. Work hard to improve your mind and body. Nourish your spirit. Do the things you fear. Start to live with unbridled energy and limitless enthusiasm. Be the person you dream of being. Do the things you have always wanted to do but did not because you tricked yourself into believing that you were too young, too old, too rich, or too poor. Life favors the prepared mind.

Identify the things that are holding you back. Make a written inventory of your weaknesses, face them head on and attack your fears. Do the things you fear. If you fear public speaking, sign up to give twenty speeches. This might be the first taste of real freedom that you have experienced in years. Fear is nothing more than a mental monster you have created, a negative stream of consciousness. When you conquer your ears, you conquer your life. When you erase fear from your mind, you start to look younger and your health becomes more vibrant.

What sets highly actualized people apart from those who never live inspired lives is that they do those things that less developed people do not like doing – even though they might not like doing them either. Truly enlightened people are prepared to put off short-term pleasure for the sake of long-term fulfillment. They resolve to live by the wisdom of kaizen, improving every aspect of themselves ceaselessly and continuously. You must change yourself before you change your life. You must spend some time daily working on yourself, even if for only ten or fifteen minutes.

Focus on those things that your conscience and your heart tell you to do. When you invest in yourself and start to devote yourself to raising your mind, body and character to their highest levels, you will almost feel as if you have a personal navigator inside you, telling you which things you must do to see the greatest and most rewarding results. You will stop worrying about your clock and start living your life.

10 Rituals that lead to personal mastery

If you apply them on a daily basis, with faith in their utility, you will observe remarkable results in just one month from today. If you continue to apply them, incorporating the techniques into your routine such that they become habits, you are bound to reach a state of perfect health, limitless energy, lasting happiness and peace of mind. You must set aside at least one hour a day for thirty consecutive days to practice the strategies.

1st Ritual of Solitude
Ensure that your daily schedule includes a mandatory period of peace. It is a period of time, as little as fifteen minutes or as much as fifty, wherein you explore the healing power of silence and come to know who you really are. Solitude and quiet connect you to your creative source and releases the limitless intelligence of the universe. In our chaotic world, most people´s minds are not still. We are full of inner turbulence. By taking the time to be still and quiet every day, the mind becomes smooth. You will even sleep better and enjoy a renewed feeling of balance in your day-to-day activities.

Practice the ritual every day at the same time. For the ritual you should go to a quiet beautiful place. It can be your bedroom or your office. Beautiful images or bouquet of flowers soothe a ruffled soul. You should savor such beauty in a place that will serve as a Sanctuary of the Self. It is a place that will become your secret forum for mental and spiritual expansion. This might be a peaceful corner of a small apartment. The point is to reserve a spot for your renewal activities.

Commune with nature daily. A quick walk through the woods or even a few minutes spent cultivating your garden will reconnect you to the wellspring of calm. Being with nature allows you to tune in to the infinite wisdom of your highest self.

2nd Ritual of Physicality
Take some time every single day to nourish the temple of your body through vigorous exercise. It is good to practice yoga, push-ups, any exercise which the body moving and circulating the air and blood in the body. Vigorous walking in natural surroundings, whether high on the mountain paths or deep in the lush forests, works wonders for relieving fatigue and restoring the body to its natural state of vibrancy.

Breathe properly is to live properly. The fastest way to double or triple the amount of energy you have is to learn the art of effective breathing. Two or three times a day take a minute or two to think about breathing more deeply and effectively. Breathe from the abdomen.

3rd Ritual of Live Nourishment
A poor diet drains your mental and physical energy, affects your moods and hampers the clarity of your mind. As you nourish your body, so you nourish your mind.

Eat live foods – fresh vegetables, fruits and grains. Eat rather vegetarian. This is sattvic – pure diet.

One must live a life of moderation and do nothing to extremes. So if you like meat, you can keep eating it. If you can, cut back on the amount of red meat that you eat as it is really hard to digest.

4th Ritual of Abundant Knowledge
This ritual is all about becoming a student of life. It requires that you use what you have learned in the classroom of your existence.

Read regularly
Reading for thirty minutes a day will do wonders for you. Do not read just anything. Make it something that will improve both you and the quality of your life like philosophical literature. A book is the best friend of the wise. To get the best out of a great book, you must study it, not just read it. Reread your books.

Every answer to every problem you have ever faced is in print. All the mistakes you will ever make in your life have already been made by those that have walked before you. The answers and solutions are all recorded on the pages of books.

Inspiring literature: Mahatma Gandhi – The Story of my Experiments with Truth, Hermann Hesse – Siddhartha, Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, Napoleon Hill – Think and Grow Rich

It is not what you will get out of the books that is so enriching – it is what the books will get out of you that will ultimately change your life. Books do not actually teach you anything new. They simply help you to see what is already within your self.

5th Ritual of Personal Reflection
By taking the time to get to know yourself, you will connect to a dimension of your being that you never knew you had. Silent contemplation will make you stronger, more at ease with yourself and wiser. This ritual is about the habit of thinking.

Every evening, after a full day of productive work, B. Franklin would retire to a silent corner of his home and reflect on his day. He would consider all of his actions and whether they were positive and constructive or whether they were of the negative sort, in need of repair. By clearly knowing what he was doing wrong in his days, he could take immediate steps to improve and advance along the path of self-mastery.

Write a list of your activities done and thoughts you ran through the mind during that particular day in one column and an assessment in another column. Get into the habit of personal introspection. Figure out what is right and what is wrong in your days and in your life. Then set about making immediate improvements.

There is nothing wrong with making mistakes. Mistakes are part of life and essential for growth. Happiness comes through good judgment, good judgment comes through experience, and experience comes through bad judgment. But there is something very wrong with making the same mistakes over and over again. It shows a complete lack of self-awareness, the very quality that separates humans from animals.

6th Ritual of Early Awakening
Most of us sleep far more than we need to. Sleep is really nothing more than a habit and like any other habit, you can train yourself to achieve the result you want. Get up early to start the day off well (around 5am). You may feel tired for the first week. It is a small measure of short-term pain for a large measure of long-term gain. You will always feel a little discomfort when you are installing a new habit. Pain is often the precursor to personal growth. The average person can get by on six hours.

Do not eat after 8pm as the digestive activity it induced would reduce the quality of the sleep. Listen to smooth music immediately before heading off to sleep. Only the most inspiring and serene thoughts should be programmed into your mind in the ten-minute period before you sleep and after you wake up.

By determining the thoughts that go in, you also are determining precisely what will come out. Before you go to sleep, relax, listen to some soft classical music.

Start your day off well. The thoughts you think and the actions you take in the first ten minutes after you wake up have a very marked effect on the rest of your day. Think positive thoughts. Give a prayer of thanks for all you have. Listen to some great music, watch the sun come up, go for a quick walk in natural surroundings.

Laughing is medicine for the soul. Even if you do not feel like it, look in the mirror and laugh for a couple of minutes. We do not laugh because we are happy, we are happy because we laugh.

After you have awakened, go into your sanctuary of silence. Get still and focused. Then ask yourself this question: What would I do today if today was my last? The key is to really get into the meaning of this question. Mentally list all the things you would do, the people you would call and the moments you would savor. Envision yourself doing these things with great energy. Visualize how you would treat your family and your friends. Picture how you would treat total strangers if today was your last day on the planet.

7th Ritual of Music
Never forget the power of music. It makes us laugh, it makes us dance and it makes us sing. Spend a little time with it every day. When you feel down, play some music. It is one of the finest motivators.

8th Ritual of Spoken Word
Use mantras whenever or wherever. Mantra is a phrase that is designed to free your mind. You can constantly affirm all that is good in your world through mantras. They do not have to be spoken. Written affirmations are also effective.

When you need to feel motivated, you might repeat: I am inspired, disciplined and energized, out loud two or three hundred times. To maintain the supreme sense of self-confidence you can repeat: I am strong, able and calm. You can use mantras to keep yourself youthful and vital. Words affect the mind in a pronounced way. While what you say to others is important, even more important is what you say to yourself.

You are what you think about all day long. You are what you say to yourself all day long. The words you say to yourself affect your self-image and your self-image determines what actions you take. If you believe that you are unable to find that perfect partner, your beliefs will affect your self-image which will prevent you from taking steps to find the perfect partner. It will sabotage any efforts you might make in this direction.

9th Ritual of a Congruent Character
This ritual requires you to take daily, incremental action to build your character. Strengthening your character affects the way you see yourself and the actions you take. The actions you take come together to for your habits and your habits lead you to your destiny.

You sow a thought, you reap an action. Reap an action, you sow a habit. Sow a habit, you reap a character. Sow a character, you reap your destiny.

Govern your actions by a series of principles: industry, compassion, humility, patience, honesty and courage. When all your actions are congruent and aligned with these principles, you will feel a deep sense of inner harmony and peace.

Do little things every day to build your character. Emerson said: Character is higher than intellect. A great soul will be strong to live as well as to think.

10th Ritual of Simplicity
Live a simple life. One must never live in the thick of thin things. Focus only on your priorities, those activities that are truly meaningful. Unless you reduce your needs, you will never be fulfilled. You will always be like that gambler in Las Vegas, staying at the roulette wheel for just one more spin in the hope that your lucky number will come up. You will always want more than you have.

The Universe favors the brave. When you resolve to lift your life to its highest level, the strength of your soul will guide you to a magical place with magnificent treasures. Within you lies the sun, the moon, the sky and all the wonders of this universe. The intelligence that created these wonders is the same force that created you. All things around you come from the same source. We are all one. Every being on this Earth, every object on this Earth has a soul. All souls flow into one, this is the Soul of the Universe. When you improve yourself, you are improving the lives of all those around you. When you have the courage to advance confidently in the direction of your dreams, you begin to draw upon the power of the universe.

Failure is not having the courage to try. The only thing standing between most people and their dreams is the fear of failure. Yet failure is essential to success in any endeavor. Failure tests us and allows us to grow. It is a fundamental Law of Nature to profit through loss. Never fear failure. Failure is your friend.

Everyone´s destiny is laid out for them at birth. This path always leads to a magical place filled with magnificent treasures. It is up to each individual to develop the courage to walk this way. Follow your destiny, it will lead you into the wonders of the universe. Always follow the wonders of the universe, for they will lead you to a special garden filled with roses.

4 Live with Discipline = Pink Wire Cable

The power of self-control and discipline is building a richer, happier and more enlightened life. The virtue of self-discipline is like a wire cable. It consists of many thin, tiny wires. Alone, each one is flimsy and weak, but together, their sum is much greater than their constituent parts and the cable becomes tougher than iron. To build a will of iron, it is essential to take small, tiny acts in tribute to the virtue of personal discipline. Routinely performed, the little acts pile on top of another to eventually produce an abundance of inner strength.

When spider webs unite, they tie up a lion. When you liberate your willpower, you become the master of your personal world. Willpower allows you to do what you said you would do, when you said you would do it. It is willpower that pushes your dreams forward when the odds appear to be insurmountable. It is willpower that offers you the inner power to keep your commitments to others and to yourself. It is the essential virtue of every person who has created a life rich with passion, possibility and peace.

Discipline is built by consistently performing small acts of courage.
Through the steel of discipline, you will forge a character rich with courage and peace. Through the virtue of will, you are destined to rise to life´s highest ideal and live within a heavenly mansion filled with all that is good, joyful and vital. Without them, you are lost like a mariner without a compass, one who eventually sinks with his ship.

Truly enlightened people never seek to be like others. Rather, they seek to be superior to their former selves. Do not race against others. Race against yourself.

When you have self-control, you will have the resolve to do the things you have always wanted to do.
The more you nurture the embryo of self-discipline, the more it will mature. If you want to have the inner strength to get up earlier, eat less, read more, worry less, be more patient and more loving, all you have to do is exert your will to cleanse your thoughts. You have the power to control every single thought you think every second of every minute of every day. People believe that thoughts just happen and have never realized that if you do not take the time to start controlling your thoughts, they will control you. When you control your thoughts, you control your mind. When you control your mind, you control your life. Once you reach the stage of being in total control of your life, you become the master of your destiny.

Building self-control and discipline into your life will bring you a tremendous sense of freedom. Many people have liberty but lack freedom. They lack the freedom to see the forest beyond the trees, the freedom to choose what is right over what seems pressing. They are slaves to their impulses. They have grown reactive rather than proactive. People always do what everyone else tell them they should be doing. Freedom is like a house: you build it brick by brick. The first brick you should lay is willpower. This quality inspires you to do what is right in any given moment. It gives you the energy to act with courage. It gives you the control to live the life you have imagined rather than accepting the life that you have.

Developing the power of your will can erase the worry habit, keep you healthy and give you far more energy than you have ever had. Self-control is nothing more than mind control. When you master your mind, you master your life. When you have developed the ability to discard all weak thoughts and focus only on those that are positive and good, positive and good actions will follow. Soon you will start attracting all that is positive and good into your life.

Positive always overcome negative. If you continue to wage war against the weaker thoughts that might have silently crept into the palace of your mind over the years, eventually they will see that they are unwanted and leave like unwelcome visitors.

Wisdom without proper tools for its application is no wisdom at all. Words are the verbal embodiment of power. By filling your mind with words of hope, you become hopeful. By filling your mind with words of kindness, you become kind. By filling your mind with thoughts of courage, you become courageous.

Willpower is the essential virtue of a fully actualized life. To develop your willpower, you repeat at least thirty times a day this mantra: I am more than I appear to be, all the world´s strength and power rests inside me.

For better results, blend this mantra with the practice of creative envisioning. Go to a quiet place, sit with your eyes closed, do not let your mind wander. Keep your body still. Now repeat the mantra aloud, over and over again. Picture yourself acting as Gandhi might act in a challenging situation.

Exercises to strengthen your mind
Start doing things you do not like doing. By getting into the habit of exerting your will, you will cease to be a slave to your weaker impulses.

Go an entire day without speaking, except in response to a direct question.

Decide to do the things you know you should be doing rather than walking the path of least resistance. Start to fight the gravitational force of your bad habits and weaker impulses just as a rocket rises above the force of gravity to enter the realm of the heavens. Push yourself.

Small victories lead to large victories. You must build on the small to achieve the great. The trick is to keep setting the mark higher and raising your standards continuously. Momentum is the secret ingredient to building self-discipline. Start off small, whether that means getting up a little earlier or training yourself to turn off the television when you know you have had enough. These small victories create the momentum that excites you to take larger steps along the path to your highest self.

Sure I am that this day we are masters of our fate, that the task which has been set before us is not above our strengths; that its pangs and toils are not beyond my endurance. As long as we have faith in our own cause and an unconquerable will to win, victory will not be denied us.

5 Respect Your Time = Gold Stopwatch

Time is a reminder of our mortality and the importance of living full, productive days while advancing our purposes. That is time consciousness. Those who use time wisely from an early age are rewarded with rich, productive and satisfying lives. Time mastery is life mastery. Time mastery allows you more time to do the things you love to do, the things that are truly meaningful to you. Time is your most precious commodity and it is non-renewable.

Take time to organize your entire week. In your daily planner, you write out your professional duties, family duties same as personal, social and spiritual development goals for the week. By anchoring all the most vital aspects of your life into your daily schedule, you ensure that your week and your life retain a sense of meaning and peace.

Plan your week and manage your time creatively. Start working an hour earlier so that you can take a mid-morning walk in the park, put in a few extra hours at the beginning of your week so that you can cut out early on Friday, why not start working at home two days a week so that you can see more of your family...

Have the discipline to focus your time around your priorities and maintain balance. The most meaningful things in your life should never be sacrificed to those that are the least meaningful. Failing to plan is planning to fail.

Time spent enriching your non-work hours makes you tremendously efficient during your working hours. Stop living your life in compartments and understand that all you do forms one indivisible whole. The way you act at home affects the way you act at work. The way you treat people at the office affects the way you will treat your family and friends.

Ancient Rule of Twenty: 80% of results you achieve in your life come from only 20% of the activities that occupy your time. Simplify your life. Masters of their mind live simple lives. You can be productive and yet fulfill your spiritual longings.

Life is like a fat strip of bacon. You have to separate the meat from the fat in order to be the master of your time. Well arranged time is the surest mark of a well arranged mind. One must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind him to the fact that each moment of life is a miracle – and a mystery.

Do not let others steal your time. These are the people who drop by your office just as you have found a few minutes in the midst of a hectic day to catch your breath and collect your thoughts. Be ruthless with your time. Have the courage to say no. Having the courage to say no to the little things in life will give you the power to say yes to the big things. Do not pick up the phone every time it rings. It is there for your convenience, not the convenience of others. People will respect you more when they see that you are a person who values his time.

Time slips through your fingers like tiny grains of sand. Those who use time wisely from an early age are rewarded with rich, productive and satisfying lives. The most productive people in this world have cultivated the habit of doing the things that less productive people do not like doing, even though they too might not like doing them.

Laughter and music are wonderful tonic for life´s stresses and strains. Laughter opens your heart and soothes your soul. No one should every take life so seriously that they forget to laugh at themselves.

Have a quick nap in the afternoon. It keeps you energetic, refreshed and youthful. Stop acting like you have five hundred years to live. The best time to plant a tree was forty years ago. The second best time is today. Do not waste even one minute of your day. Develop a deathbed mentality. It reminds you that today could be your last, so savor it to the fullest. When you adopt a deathbed mentality you live every day as if it was your last.

Push yourself to do more and to experience more. Harness your energy to start expanding your dreams. Do not accept a life of mediocrity when you hold such infinite potential within the fortress of your mind. Dare to tap into your greatness.

Act as if failure is impossible, and your success will be assured. Wipe out every thought of not achieving your objectives. Be brave, and set no limits on the workings of your imagination. Never be a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of your future.

We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. I understand my role in the universe. I see what I am. I am no longer in the world. The world is in me.

If you follow the principles you will come to master the art of personal government. You will see your life for what it really is: a small blip on the canvas of eternity. You will come to see clearly who you are and the ultimate purpose of your life – to serve. The only thing you can take with you at the end of your life is your conscience. Listen to your conscience. Let it guide you. It knows what is right.

6 Selflessly Serve Others = Fragrant Roses

A little bit of fragrance always clings to the hand that gives you roses. When you work to improve the lives of others, you indirectly elevate your own life in the process. When you take care to practice random acts of kindness daily, your own life becomes far richer and more meaningful. To cultivate the sacredness and sanctity of each day, serve others in some way.

He who serves the most, reaps the most, emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. This is the way to inner peace and outer fulfillment. Everything that lives, lives not alone, not for itself. By elevating the lives of others, your life reaches its highest dimensions. The most noble thing you can do is to give to others. It is the process of shedding the shackles of self. It is all about losing self-consciousness and starting to focus on a higher purpose. This might be in the form of giving more to those around you, whether this means your time or your energy: these truly are your two most valuable resources. When we are born, we are crying while the world rejoices. We should live our lives in such a way that when we die, the world cries while we are rejoicing. When all is said and done, no matter what you have achieved, no matter how many summer homes you own, no matter how many cars sit in your driveway, the quality of your life will come down to the quality of your contribution.

To improve the quality of your life, you must cultivate a new perspective of why you are here on Earth. Just as you entered the world with nothing, you are destined to leave with nothing. This being the case, there can be only one real reason for your being here – to give yourself to others and to contribute in a meaningful way.

People are realizing that they are here for a purpose and that they have been given special gifts that will aid them to realize it. An abundance of mental ability, boundless energy, unlimited creativity, a storehouse of discipline and a wellspring of peacefulness; it is simply a matter of unlocking these treasures and applying them for some common good. You should make it a priority to change your world view so that you stop seeing yourself purely as an individual and start seeing yourself as part of the collective.

Cultivate richer relationships. Compassion and daily acts of kindness make life far richer. Take the time to meditate every morning on the good you will do for others during your day. The sincere words of praise to those who least expect it, the gestures of warmth offered to friends in need, the small tokens of affection to members of your family for no reason at all, all add up to a much more wonderful way to live. Speaking of friendships, make sure you keep them in constant repair. A person with three solid friends is very wealthy indeed.

Friends add humor, fascination and beauty to life. Friends keep you humble when you get too self-righteous. Friends make you smile when you are taking yourself too seriously. Good friends are there to help you when life throws one of its little curves at you and things look worse than they seem.

7 Embrace the Present = Path of Diamonds

A truly joyful and rewarding life comes only through a process called living in the now. The past is water under the bridge and the future is a distant sun on the horizon of your imagination. The most important moment is now. Learn to live in it and savor it fully. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. Live for today, live now – there will never be another one quite like it.

By carrying this principle with you through your daily work you will begin to see the exquisite wonders in the simplest of things and live with the ecstacy you deserve. You will allow yourself to transform your world from the ordinary into the extraordinary.

Stop spending so much time chasing life´s big pleasures while you neglect the little ones. Enjoy the beauty and sacredness of all that is around you. You owe this to yourself. Never put off happiness for the sake of achievement. Never put off the things that are important for your well-being and satisfaction to a later time. Today is the day to live fully, not when you win the lottery or when you retire. Never put off living!

Today is the day to enjoy the fruits of your efforts. Today is the day to seize the moment and live a life that soars. Today is the day to live from your imagination and harvest your dreams. And never, ever forget the gift of family. What is the point of climbing the steps of success if you have missed the first steps of your own kids? What good is owning the biggest house on your block if you have not taken the time to create a home? What is the use of being known across the country as a red-hot trial lawyer if your kids do not even know their father? The best give you could ever give your children is your love. Show them that they are far more important to you than the fleeting rewards of your professional career. Pretty soon they will be off, building lives and families of their own. Then it will be too late, the time will be gone.

Begin to live each day as if it was your last. Enjoy the special moments that every day offers because today, this day is all you have. By giving daily thanks for all of your assets, whether these are material or spiritual, you will develop the habit of living in the moment. Life does not always give you what you ask for, but it always gives you what you need.

Every single person on the planet is a genius. We all have something that we are meant to do. Your genius will shine through, and happiness will fill your life, the instant you discover your higher purpose and then direct all your energies towards it. Once you are connected to this mission, whether it is being a great teacher or an inspired artist, all your desires will be fulfilled effortlessly. You will not even have to try. Instead, simply follow the path of your dreams, in full expectation of the bounty that is certain to flow. This will bring you to your divine destination, this means growing your destiny.

Let this new day be the defining moment of your life, the day that you make the decision once and for all to focus on what is truly important to you. Make the decision to spend more time with those who make your life meaningful. Revere the special moments, revel in their power. Do things that you have always wanted to do. Climb that mountain you have always wanted to climb or learn to play trumpet. Dance in the rain or build a new business. Learn to love music, learn a new language. Stop putting off your happiness for the sake of achievement. Instead, why not enjoy the process? Revive your spirit and start tending to your soul. This is the way to Nirvana – the ultimate destination of all truly enlightened souls.

When I admire the wonder of a sunset or the beauty of the moon, my soul expands in worship of the Creator.
Everyone on this planet is a wonder of this world. Every one of us is a hero in some way or another. Every one of us has the potential for extraordinary achievement, happiness and lasting fulfillment. A life overflowing with wonders is built day by day. Small victories lead to large victories. Tiny, incremental changes and improvements create positive habits. Positive habits will create results. Results will inspire you towards greater personal change. Begin to live each day as if it was your last. Starting today, learn more, laugh more and do what you truly love to do. Do not be denied your destiny. For what lies behind you and what lies in front of you matters little when compared to what lies within you. Only those who seek shall find. The journey is to be enjoyed. The road is just as good as the end.





Maîtrise de soi et le soin consistant de l'esprit, du coprs et de l'âme sont essentiels pour trouver le soi suprême et pour vivre la vie des rêves.
Comment on peut prendre soin des autres quand on ne sait pas comment prendre soin de nous-mêmes?
Comment on peut se comporter bien quand on ne se sent pas bien?
On ne peut pas aimer des autres sans s'aimer...

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Frank Bettger: Škola Úspěchu

I. Tyto myšlenky mě zbavily neúspěchu

1. Jak jsem díky jediné myšlence dosáhl životního štěstí a znásobil své příjmy
Tajemství úspěšného prodeje – kromě odborných znalostí a energie je to především nadšení pro práci, opravdový entuziasmus.
Jednej s nadšením a staneš se nadšeným!

2. Co mě přivedlo zpět k prodeji poté, co jsem se svého místa vzdal
Zásady prodeje – bez uzavřené smlouvy nedostaneš provizi, bez objednávky nic neprodáš, objednávku získáš jen tehdy, když zákazníka přiměješ k rozhovoru, k rozhovoru s klientem se dostaneš tím, že ho navštívíš
Osobní kontakt s klientem

3. Co mi pomohlo překonat mého největšího nepřítele
Nemohu uspět v žádné oblasti, dokud budu mít strach mluvit před neznámými lidmi. Všechny získané znalosti je třeba ihned uplatnit v praxi.
Všichni, kdo mají úspěch a pracují na vedoucích místech, mají odvahu a sebevědomí. Většina z nich se dokáže přesvědčivě vyjadřovat.
Umět mluvit přes skupinou lidí

4. Jak jsem se naučil organizovat sám sebe
Udělat si dost času na přemýšlení a plánování.
Kdo nechce ráno vstávat, má malé vyhlídky na úspěch.
Vymezit si čas a den na plánování (organizační den) a v této době promyslet svůj týdenní plán, dodržovat jej a zhodnotit.
Dobře si rozplánovat svůj čas

II. Základní pravidla obchodního úspěchu

1. Jak jsem objevil tajemství obchodního úspěchu
Zjistit co zákazník chce a pomoci mu jak toho dosáhnout

2. Jak jsem se naučil trefit do černého
Chodit na školení, tam se člověk setká s experty. Špičkoví obchodníci prahnou po nových nápadech, jak by ještě lépe mohli zvládat svou práci.
Když lidem ukážete, co chtějí, pohnou nebem i zemí, aby toho dosáhli.
Existuje jen jediná cesta, jak druhého přimět k určitému jednání: přesvědčit ho, že to udělat chce.
Přesvědčit zákazníka o tom, co chce. Udělá pak cokoli, aby toho dosáhl

3. Za 15 minut obchod za 250 000 dolarů
Buď ohlášen
Dobře se připravit – promyslet si rozhovor, na co se zeptat, co je podstatou setkání
Uvědomit si, o co vlastně jde – kde hledat hlavní zájmy, kde je citlivé místo, jaký má zákazník problém. Nikdy neklást příliš mnoho otázek, které by odváděly od toho podstatného. Je třeba vyhmátnout, co zákazníka zajímá, a pak se na to soustředit.
Poznamenat si hlavní body – podstatné body mít v hlavě, předkládat argumenty logicky utříděné a seřazené, vyjadřovat se stručně a stále sledovat to nejpodstatnější. Kartička s hlavními body v kapse.
Klást otázky
Překvapit partnera – dobře se připravit, aby partner nemohl překvapení neutralizovat fakty. „Svému bratrovi bych na základě vlastních zkušeností u pojišťovny poradil, aby všechny návrhy a nabídky sebral se stolu a hodil do koše.“
Zdůrazňovat fakta – podněty, které donutí jednat: touha po zisku, strach před ztrátou. Třeba zdůraznit co je v zájmu zákazníka (úvěr na 250 000 dolarů)
Získat důvěru:
- vžít se do situace zákazníka (chce mít pocit, že si to koupil sám)
- kdybyste byl můj bratr…
- chválit konkurenci
- mohu pro vás dnes ráno udělat něco, co vám nemůže nabídnout nikdo jiný…
Poctivě ocenit dosažené výsledky a schopnosti zákazníka – peněžní ústav má ve vás důvěru, dokud jste naživu. Pokud se vám ale něco stane, je po důvěře. Říkám to správně…
Odvaha riskovat – vsadit vše na jednu kartu (sjednat schůzku s doktorem, i když klient mého pojištění o tom dopředu nevěděl)
Pracujte se slůvkem „vy“
Použít slova vy, vám, nahlížet na situaci z pohledu toho druhého. Používat méně „já“.

4. S otázkami se prodá víc
Kladením otázek dosáhneme toho, že partner zjistí, co si sám vlastně myslí a zároveň mu tím skládáme kompliment tím, že se ptáme na jeho mínění.
Kdo se ptá, nic netvrdí a neprotěžuje své vlastní mínění
Kdo se ptá, příliš nemluví
Otázky nám ukáží, co náš partner chce, a jemu pomohou, aby sám přišel na to, co potřebuje. Díky tomu mu můžeme pomoci ke správnému rozhodnutí
Partner uvažuje jasněji, když ho vedeme otázkami. Naše myšlenky se promění v jeho nápady
Pomocí otázek odhalíme citlivé místo a tím i klíč k uzavření obchodu
Otázky v našem partnerovi navozují pocit převahy a důležitosti. Pokud přikládáme váhu jeho názorům a pocitům, bude stejnou měrou ctít i on ty naše
Ptejte se!

5. Proč člověk kupuje a proč nekupuje
Vystihnout skutečnou potřebu zákazníka
Odhalit bod, který je pro něj nejdůležitější
Během zbývajícího rozhovoru u tohoto bodu zůstat
Zjistěte, oč se zákazník zajímá; najděte jeho citlivé místo – a zůstaňte u něj!

6. Nejdůležitější slůvko obchodního rozhovoru je na čtyři písmena
Pokud se zákazníkovi cena za službu zdá vysoká, ptejte se neustále proč, abyste zjistili pravou příčinu, anebo donutili zákazníka uvědomit si, že jeho argumenty jsou slabé.
PROČ

7. Rozeznat důvody a překonat překážky
Zákazník většinou neuvádí pravý důvod neochoty koupit.
Pokud zákazník uvede důvod, proč nechce nakoupit, snažte se najít pravou příčinu: existují kromě toho ještě nějaké jiné důvody? Není zde ještě jiná příčina, která vám brání koupi uzavřít?
Člověk má dva důvody, proč něco kupuje. Ten, který udává, a ten pravý.
Ten pravý důvod nejspíše zjistíme tak, že položíme dvě stručné otázky: „Proč?“ a „Neexistuje kromě toho ještě…?“

8. Zapomenutá zázračná formulka
Mlčení je velké umění a může být velmi výmluvné. Není egoista tejn, kdo mluví, nýbrž ten, který naslouchá, protože ten něco získává.
Podařilo se mi uzavřít obchod, protože jsem zákazníka přinutil mluvit. Tak mohl vyložit své problém a já zase pochopit, co chce.
Nejrychlejší cesta k popularitě spočívá v umění nabídnout druhým ucho, a nikoli jazyk. Aby člověk získal pověst skvělého společníka, stačí jen říkat: jak je to zajímavé! Povězte mi o tom víc!
Kdo naslouchá, je všude vítán

III. Získat a udržet si důvěru

1. Jak si získat důvěru
Nezáleží na tom, jestli to ví ten druhý, ale na tom, že to vím já! Buďte poctiví. Nejlepší a nejchytřejší je ten obchodník, který o svém výrobku říká nepřikrášlenou pravdu.
Kdo si chce získat důvěru a udržet si ji, musí si ji nejprve zasloužit!

2. Cenné zkušenosti jednoho velkého lékaře
Každé léto trávím ve Filadelfii šest týdnů dovolené, abych si mohl poslechnout odborné lékařské přednášky a navštívit tamní kliniky…. Není divu, že tento lékař patří k nejlepším specialistům ve svém oboru.
Znát dobře svou práci a neustále se informovat o novinkách!

3. Rychlá cesta k získání důvěry
Zákazník poslouchá informace o konkurenci se zájmem, ocení naše znalosti o konkurenci.
O nikom nebudu mluvit špatně – vždy o něm řeknu jen to nejlepší.
Uznat a chválit konkurenci!

4. Jak ztrácíme zákazníky
Nikdy nedělat nic, za čím si nemohu stát. Nic jiného se nevyplácí.
Udělal jsem kalkulaci s výhodným vývojem podílu na kapitálu. Někdo z té firmy však začal být nedůvěřivý, protože mu moje nabídka připadala jako podvodný manévr a informoval se na centrále naší pojišťovny. Já ztratil obchod, důvěru zákazníka i úctu konkurence. Nejhorší ale bylo: Ztratil jsem úctu sám k sobě.
Vyhnout se podvodným manévrům, nepřehánět – někdo to totiž vždycky pozná!

5. Neomylná cesta k důvěře
Celá léta jsem svým klientům předkládal spolu se svým návrhem i seznam prominentů, kteří byli pojištěni u naší společnosti. Když došlo na uzavření pojistky, řekl jsem, že si za svou nabídkou stojím a považuji ji za nejlepší. Také jsem dodal, že by bylo milé, kdyby si klient mohl promluvit s někým, kdo můj návrh může objektivně a nezištně posoudit. Zavolal jsem svého svědka – někoho, koho můj zákazník znal.
Uvádět „svědky“ – neomylná metoda, jak získat důvěru druhých.

6. Dobrý dojem
Dbát na svůj vzhled, být upravený a mít svůj styl.
Nechat si poradit od odborníka, aby člověk vypadal k světu.

IV. Kdy zákazník koupí – a proč?

1. Lincoln mi pomohl získat přátele
Než je možné člověka pro něco získat, musíme ho přesvědčit o tom, že jsme jeho přítelem. Je to pro něj jako med, jako balzám na duši. Tím ho získáme. Když se nám to podaří, začne považovat naši věc za svou. Podmínkou ovšem je, že je to věc dobrá.
Stále jsem mu opakoval, že jsem do něj vkládal velké naděje. Měl jsem vždy radost z jeho postupu a úspěchů. Přímo mi to nikdy neřekl, ale z toho, co poznamenal před svými přáteli, jsem vyvodil, že k jeho úspěchu přispělo svou měrou i mé stálé povzbuzování.
Povzbuzovat mladé lidi! Ukázat jim, jak mohou být v životě úspěšní!
Musíme druhého přimět, aby nám prozradil své plány.
Pokud nám někdo dal dobrou radu nebo nám pomohl dál, nedělejme z toho tajemství. Raději projevme svou vděčnost.
Nejprve se zeptat: A jak jste vlastně začínal? A potom být dobrým posluchačem.
Než je možné člověka pro něco získat, musíme ho přesvědčit o tom, že jsme jeho přítelem.

2. Myšlenka, která mi otevřela mnohé dveře
Čtvrthodinku jsem věnoval koupeli, pořádně jsem se promasíroval a snažil se celou tu dobu vypadat vesele a sebejistě. Úsměv musí být přirozený a musí vycházet zevnitř, musí být výrazem šťastného života.
Domníváte se, že čin následuje po emoci, ale koneckonců obojí tvoří jednotu. Pokud dokážeme ovlivnit své jednání, jež je více méně řízeno naší vůlí, můžeme přes ně ovládnout i své city, které naší vůli podléhají podstatně méně.
Štěstí a spokojenost je možné přivolat veselým úsměvem. Věnujte každému člověku šťastný a důvěryplný úsměv a užasnete, oč lépe se přitom budete cítit.
Než jsem navštívil zákazníka, vždycky jsem chvilku počkal a pomyslel na všechno, zač jsem mohl být životu vděčný. To dodalo mé tváři spokojený, radostný výraz.
Usmívejte se!

3. Zapamatovat si jména a tváře
Jména a tváře si zapamatujeme lépe, když se budeme držet tří bodů: pozorování, opakování, vztahy.
Pozorování – jméno můžeme špatně slyšet, nebo přeslechnout. Není špatné se zeptat znovu při představování, pokud jsme dobře neslyšeli. U neobvyklého jména není divné se zeptat, jak se jméno správně vyslovuje
Opakování – několikrát si jméno zopakuji: jak se vám daří, pane Mustere? Kde jste se narodil, pane Munstere?...
Vztahy – používejme asociace se zaměstnáním, událostí, která se pojí s daným člověkem
Jak si druzí pamatují naše jména:
Vymyslet si formulku, která udělá naše jméno zajímavým: Bettger – Better life
Jak nezapomenout jméno:
Pokud zapomeneme, nejlépe je to přiznat a vtipně okomentovat. Mám děravou hlavu…
Při pozdravu neřekneme jen ahoj, ale i jméno, ahoj Petře, jak se máš?
Je dobré se seznámit s novým jménem ještě před vzájemným představováním. Před hodinou si projet seznam nových studentů.
Přesně uložit do paměti tvář i jméno
Během rozhovoru v krátkých intervalech jméno opakovat
Důsledně spojovat jména s jinými představami – třeba i s povoláním

4. Proč obchodník přichází o zakázku
Mají lidé, kteří se plaví nahoru a dolů po řece, větší práva než ti, kteří se chtějí dostat přes ni? Krátká a výstižná řeč, která vyřešila veliký případ.
Přejděte k věci, detaily mě nezajímají. Má vášeň poslouchat sama sebe opět zvítězila.
Nedávno jsme hovořili na konferenci obchodníků o důvodech, proč si některý zástupce pokazí dobrý obchod. Tři čtvrtiny přítomných byly toho názoru, že hlavní důvod spočívá v tom, že ten člověk příliš mnoho mluví.
Než začnu volat, napíšu si body, o kterých chci mluvit. Potom vytočím číslo a řeknu: Vím, že jste velmi zaměstnaný. Mám k vám jen čtyři otázky, které vám hned řeknu: za prvé… za druhé….. za čtvrté. Po čtvrté otázce můj partner ví, že je hovor z mé strany u konce a že zavěsím, jakmile dostanu poslední odpověď. Potom ihned řeknu: mnohokrát děkuji! A rozloučím se.
Vyjadřovat se jasně a stručně!
Obchodník toho nikdy nemůže příliš vědět, může ale příliš mluvit

5. Překonat strach z významných osobností
Můj první velký útok platil jednomu z velkých bosů automobilového průmyslu. Když mě sekretářka uvedla do jeho luxusní kanceláře, klepal jsem se strachy. Hlas se mi chvěl, když jsem začal mluvit. Začal jsem koktat a zadrhl jsem se uprostřed řeči. Pak jsem najednou vykoktal: Pane Hughesi, tolikrát jsem se pokoušel s vámi promluvit a teď, když jsem tady, tak jsem tak rozrušený a nervózní, že sotva mohu mluvit. Jak jsem to ze sebe dostal, bylo po strachu. Mé myšlenky byly jasnější. Pan Hughes měl radost, že jsem ho pokládal za tak důležitou osobnost a povzbudil mě, abych mluvil dál.
Když máš strach, tak to přiznej!
Tím druhému projevíme kompliment a dotyčný nám pak sám pomůže k dosažení cíle

V. Cesta k prodeji

6. „Prodej“ před prodejem
Před několika dny mě vyhodil jeden majitel velkoobchodu, protože jsem za ním přišel, aniž bych si předem dohodl schůzku a spustil jsem rovnou k věci, aniž jsem mu vysvětlil, kdo jsem a co u něj pohledávám.
Žádný zákazník nemá rád, když mu zástupce neřekne, kdo je, kterou firmu zastupuje a co chce. Na pokusy o zastírací a úhybné manévry reaguje zákazník agresivně. Naopak je vítán ten, kdo je při představování otevřený, čestný a upřímný a okamžitě směřuje k cíli návštěvy.
Pokud se obchodní zástupce objeví neohlášen, očekává zákazník na počátku rozhovoru tuto otázku: Mohl byste mi teď věnovat trochu svého času?
K zákazníkovi si nejsnáze získáme přístup tím, když poznáme jeho koníčka a dokážeme ho nějak zamontovat do rozhovoru.
Když jsem s prodejem začínal, jsem po několikáté navštívil jednoho newyorského továrníka. Až dosud jsem s ním žádný obchod uzavřít nedokázal. Sotva jsem vstoupil do jeho kanceláře, řekl mi ten starý pán rozzlobeně: Je mi líto, ale dnes opravdu nemám čas. Krom toho jdu teď na oběd. Rychle jsem řekl: Vadilo by vám, kdybyste mě vzal s sebou? Byl zaskočený, ale souhlasil. Během oběda jsme o obchodu vůbec nemluvili. Po návratu do kanceláře jsem dostal malou zakázku, která byla začátkem intenzivního obchodního kontaktu.
Vše záleží na tom, jak začnete! Vlastní prodej začíná již ve dveřích, když zákazníka vítáte.
Vlastní prodej začíná již před prodejem

7. jak „prodat“ termín schůzky
Zákazník ocení pevnou domluvu: šetříme tím svůj čas i čas svých zákazníků a pokud zákazníka požádáme o termín, dokazujeme mu tím, že víme, jak je jeho čas vzácný. On si pak bude více cenit i našeho času. Domluvený termín udělá z návštěvy malou událost.
Úspěchu v rozhovoru nedosáhneme tím, že okamžitě začneme mluvit o zakázce, musíme se napřed soustředit na to, abychom si vytvořili dobrou výchozí pozici.
Prodat termín, prodat produkt

8. Sekretářky a telefonistky – naše pravá ruka
Mnoho lidí nechápe, jak významnou roli hraje sekretářka. Často „vládne“ ona, nikoli její šéf. Člověk, který chce mluvit se šéfem, se obezřele svěří sekretářce. Pokud se svěříme jí, umožní nám přístup do „svatyně“, časem svého šéfa totiž disponuje ona. Vycházíme-li dobře se sekretářkou, pracuje šéfova „pravá ruka“ pro nás. Měl jsem úspěch vždy tehdy, když jsem se sekretářkou mluvil otevřeně a upřímně a respektoval její „mocenské postavení“.
Je dobré předem vyzvědět od ostatních spolupracovníků jméno šéfovy sekretářky.
Dobré ráno, slečno Whitová! Vám se určitě podaří otevřít mi na čtvrt hodinky dveře do „svatyně“ vašeho šéfa?
Sekretářky a telefonistky – důležité osobně v kontaktu s šéfem firmy

9. Jeden nápad, jak zvýšit své příjmy
Po pětašedesátém provedení Hamleta chtěl jeden novinář mluvit se slavným hercem Johnem Barrymoorem. Udivilo ho, že musel na herce čekat půldruhé hodiny. Je prý na zkoušce. To se moc divím, řekl Barrymoorovi, když konečně přišel, že po šedesáti pěti reprízách stále ještě zkoušíte, jste přece oslavován jako největší představitel Hamleta všech dob! Barrymoore se usmál a odvětil: Již pět měsíců studuji a opakuji svou roli každý den devět hodin. Nevěřil jsem, že se jí kdy naučím zpaměti a několikrát jsem to chtěl vzdát. Ještě před rokem jsem chtěl herectví pověsit na hřebík – dnes se říká, že jsem génius! Není to zvláštní?
Nejvhodnější chvílí pro přípravu rozhovoru je okamžik, kdy jsme právě jeden rozhovor ukončili. Všechno, co jsme měli říci, a všechno, co jsme raději říkat neměli, máme ještě v čerstvé paměti.
Napište si obchodní rozhovor slovo od slova! Čtěte ho stále znovu. Vyzkoušejte si ho s kolegou či partnerem. Pokud je špatný, váš partner vás upozorní na chyby. Promluvte si o něm se svým zaměstnavatelem nebo se šéfem prodeje. Cvičte ho tak dlouho, až vás samotné nadchne.
Cvičit, cvičit, cvičit!

10. Jak zákazníka zapojit aktivně do obchodu
Jeden příklad je cennější než tisíc slov. Nechte zákazníka, ať je sám aktivní, a povzbuzujte ho, aby s vámi spolupracoval! Dovolte mu, aby vám s uzavřením obchodu sám pomohl!
Naše lednička je zcela bezhlučná. Nenadělá větší rámus než tato hořící zápalka. Nepatrná věc jako hořící zápalka přispěla k rozšíření nového typu ledničky.
Obchodník s textilem použil lupu, aby zákazníka přesvědčil, že textilie od konkurenta není tak kvalitní.
Metoda názorného příkladu je velmi důležitá pokud se má náš myšlenkový postup stát pro zákazníka pochopitelným.
Používat názorné příklady, nebo pomůcky!

11. Hledat nové zákazníky a stávající učinit svými nadšenými pomocníky
Pokud o zákazníka pečujeme, pečuje i on o nás.
Dejte zákazníkovi najevo, že může mít radost z toho, co si koupil. Pochvalte mu produkt i poté, co jej koupil! Je důležité navštívit zákazníka i po koupi, zeptat se ho, jak je spokojený s produktem.
Zákazníci jsou nejlepším zdrojem nových zákazníků. Spokojený zákazník nás může dále doporučit.
Kdy navštívit případného zájemce, který nám byl doporučen? Za šest týdnů? Za šest dnů? Do šesti minut!
Vždycky poděkujte, nezapomínejte na toho, do vám prokázal službu: informujte ho, zda jste měli s jeho doporučením úspěch.
„Hrajte“ tak, aby vám vždycky „vyšla i další koule“! Nemyslete jen na to, že uzavíráte obchod. Mějte na mysli také situaci, která následuje potom. Pokud se služba zákazníkům nestane naším každodenním zvykem, budeme na tom čím dál hůř.
Nikdy nezapomeň na zákazníka a nedopusť, aby on zapomněl na tebe!

12. Sedm pravidel úspěšného završení obchodu
Když jsem měl velmi malé úspěchy v obchodu, snažil jsem se nalézt řešení mé situace. Vytáhl jsem statistiku návštěv za posledních 12 měsíců. 70% uzavřených obchodů připadalo na první návštěvu u zákazníka, 23% na druhou a jen 7% na třetí a další. To znamená, že jsem ztratil polovinu pracovní doby, abych získal 7%. Zrušil jsem návštěvy po 2. schůzce a mé příjmy se zvýšily.
Důležité u obchodu je výzva k činu! Veďte zákazníka k tomu, aby chtěl obchod uzavřít.
Těžké zbraně použít až nakonec
Obchod má čtyři stupně: upoutat pozornost zákazníka, vzbudit jeho zájem, vyvolat v něm potřebu, obchod uzavřít.
Když jsem dokázal vyčkat s pádnými argumenty až na závěr, poskytl jsem zákazníkovi možnost, aby si mé návrhy nerušeně promyslel.
Shrnutí
Shrnout nejdůležitější body. Pokud je to možné, přenecháte shrnutí zákazníkovi, aby měl na koupi aktivní účast.
Působivé otázky
Zákazníkovi předložím svůj návrh, krátce zopakuji podstatné body, podívám se mu do očí a zeptám se: Jak se vám to zamlouvá?
Nebo jiná situace: Nemyslíte, že to bude pro vás nejlepší řešení? Většinou pak se mnou souhlasí.
Námitky jsou vítány
Spousta námitek, na kterých jsem dříve troskotal, mi začala připadat jako znamení, že je zákazník připraven koupit.
Nemohu si to dovolit, stavte se až někdy v lednu, chtěl bych si to rozmyslet, cena je příliš vysoká… nejsou definitivním zamítnutím.
Pokud někdo řekne, že si to nemůže dovolit, v podstatě říká, že by si to dovolit chtěl. Naším úkolem je přesvědčit ho, že ty peníze dokáže sehnat. Zákazníci, kteří přicházejí s námitkami jsou ti nejlepší!
Proč… a kromě toho…
Tato tázací slova používám v průběhu celého rozhovoru v těch nejrůznějších formách. Pomocí nich nalezneme se zákazníkem pravý důvod proč ne a můžeme přijít i na to, jak nalézt finanční prostředky a tak zajistit uzavření obchodu. Otázka Proč? Přiměje zákazníka mluvit, pomocí A kromě toho zjistíte ten pravý důvod jeho odmítnutí.
Ukázat zákazníkovi, kde musí podepsat
V USA se na všech formulářích v místě, kde má zákazník podepsat, píše velký křížek.
Objednávky a formuláře vypište co nejúplněji. Alespoň jméno a adresa zákazníka.
Nebát se platby předem
Záloha nebo platba předem je významná, protože tím psychologicky zvyšujeme hodnotu produktu. Jakmile zákazník složí zálohu, začne produkt považovat za své vlastnictví. Vzácně se stane, že by někdo zrušil objednávku, když už dal zálohu.

Vystihnout pravý okamžik
Který je ten pravý okamžik pro uzavření obchodu? Chce to cvik. Není dobré tlačit na pilu, příliš spěchat, ale také neztratit šanci zbytečně neoddalovat konečný moment. Používat kartičku s těmito sedmi body a řídit se jich. Pokud to nevyjde, zpětně se zamyslet v kterém z bodů jsem udělal chybu.
Prověřujte denně, zda vaše obchodní jednání probíhá podle těchto pravidel. Tak dlouho, až se stanou vaším zvykem.

12. Báječná závěrečná technika
Z vás musí vzejít iniciativa, která vede k činu! Největší služba, jakou můžete druhému prokázat, spočívá v tom, že mu pomůžete, aby dospěl k chytrému rozhodnutí.
Je dobré připravit celou smlouvu, předem vypsat iniciály a zaškrtnout místo pro podpis zákazníka. Hotovou smlouvu mu položit na stůl, mluvit a přitom držet pero v ruce a podat mu je. I zákazník, který se rozhodl, že odmítne, nakonec zvažuje a pak svolí. Je to velmi působivá technika. I když by měla být používaná až v konečné fázi obchodu, někdy tím uspíšíme jednání.

VI. Žádný strach z neúspěchu

Nenechte se porážkami a neúspěchem odradit! Myslete na to, že vaše průměrná šance je stejně velká jako šance druhých lidí! Když se vám nepodaří prorazit na špici, nenaříkejte. Okamžitě se pusťte do analýza svých zpráv a statistik. S velkou pravděpodobností pak zjistíte, že jste se snažili příliš málo. Tím jste zákonitosti průměru nedali šanci.
Vždycky když utrpíte porážku, vzroste vaše šance na úspěch. Čím více porážek musíte přetrpět, tím blíž jste svému příštímu úspěchu.
Klidně si pěstuj trochu zdravé lhostejnosti a nestarej se o to, co si o tobě myslí druzí. Budou si tě za to ještě více považovat a vážit si tě. (Dr. L.E.Bisch, renomovaný americký psychiatr)
Nezáleží na tom, zda jsme prohráli, nýbrž na tom, jak jsme prohru dokázali přijmout. (Lincoln)
Naše pochybnosti jsou zrádci. Zrazují nás od toho, abychom riskovali, a tím z nás dělají smolaře tam, kde jsme mohli vyhrát. (Shakespeare)
Odvaha není nemít strach, ale umět strach překonat.
(Odkaz na knížku: Norman Vincent Peale – Síla pozitivního myšlení, vydavatelství Leech Verlag, Curych)

Tajemství úspěchu Benjamina Franklina
Franklin považoval své schopnosti za průměrné, byl ale přesvědčen, že zásady úspěšného života je možné si osvojit, pokud člověk zná správnou metodu. Sestavil si třináct bodů, které považoval za důležité a které po týdnech prověřoval. Tak během třinácti týdnů prošel všechny body a za rok si zopakoval každý bod čtyřikrát.
Držel jsem se Franklinova plánu a přenesl jeho myšlenky do své obchodní praxe. Upravil jsem některé body a vzešel tak můj nový seznam.

1. Nadchni se pro věc
2. Měj ve věcech pořádek a organizuj svou práci
3. Vžij se do toho, co chce ten druhý
4. Klaď otázky
5. Hledej záchytný bod
6. Mlč a naslouchej
7. Buď čestný – získej si důvěru
8. Důsledně znej své povolání
9. Uznej výkon druhých a pochval ho
10. Usmívej se, buď spokojený a šťastný
11. Pamatuj si jména a tváře
12. Na zákazníka nikdy nezapomínej
13. Měj zákazníka k tomu, aby byl při uzavírání obchodu aktivní

Pro každý z bodů jsem si zhotovil kartičku a kartičky nosil neustále u sebe. U příslušného bodu jsem si napsal i hlavní zásady s ním spojené. Stále jsem si četl jednu kartičku po celý týden a druhý den vzal kartičku druhou. Cítil jsem pokaždé, že jsem ovládal sebe i svou práci o poznání lépe. Držte se Franklinova systému, protože tak zhodnotíte jednu nejlepších myšlenek, jaké vám kdy byly nabídnuty! Vím, jak velmi pomohla mně. Pomůže i vám, pokud ji přijmete za svou. Není to snadná cesta – je to ale cesta jistá!

Třináct životních zásad Benjamina Franklina

1. Střídmost – Nejez do otupění, nepij do rozjaření.
2. Mlčení – Mluv jen, pokud to druhým a tobě samotnému pomáhá. Vyvaruj se zbytečného tlachání.
3. Pořádek – Urči každé věci její místo a pro všechno, co děláš, si stanov přiměřený čas.
4. Rozhodnost – Rozhodni se, že vykonáš to, co vykonat musíš. Vykonej, co ses rozhodl vykonat.
5. Uměřenost – Vydávej jen tehdy, je-li to druhým nebo tobě ku prospěchu, nerozhazuj.
6. Píle – Neztrácej čas. Zabývej se pouze prospěšnými věcmi. Vyhýbej se každé zbytečné a pošetilé činnosti.
7. Upřímnost – Nebuď záludný. Mysli a jednej čestně a spravedlivě. Říkej, co si myslíš.
8. Spravedlnost – Nikoho nezraň tím, že bys k němu byl nespravedlivý nebo mu odepřel pomoc, jíž jsi mu povinován.
9. Sebeovládání – Vyvaruj se extrémů.
10. Čistota – Nestrp nic nečistého – ani na svém těle, ani na svém oděvu, ani tam, kde žiješ.
11. Klid – Nenech se vyvést z míry maličkostmi nebo nemilými příhodami.
12. Harmonie – Dbej na svou vnitřní vyrovnanost.
13. Skromnost – Žij jako Ježíš.

Počkejte, až k jednotlivým rozhodnutím dozraje čas, dělejte najednou vždy jen jednu věc a na ni po dobu jednoho týdne upřete svou pozornost, zatím na ostatní problémy neberte zřetel.

Nic na světě není tak velkolepé jako myšlenka, pro níž právě dozrál čas.

Viktor E. Frankl - Nevertheless Yes to Life (Přesto říci životu ano)

I got this book recently and I was a bit afraid to read it. Now, I can tell you this is one of the most important books to read for everyone!

The story is written by a psychologist who survived concentration camps during 2nd WW. He was a psychologist for himself and his friends - convicted. He describes each phase of a victim of Nazi regime.

The most important thought in this book as I can see is this deep wisdom:

In the world across all societies, all cultures, all ages and backgrounds, there exist only two types of people - nice people and rude people. The first group is a minority. That´s the basic truth and it will never change. The danger comes when the rude people reach the highest posts in the country or nation and become leaders. No nation is immune towards this situation and that´s why in any nation there lies the potential for holocaust.

Nando Parrado - Miracle in Andes

My good friend gave me this great book and said, begin to read and you won´t take it from your hands until you finish it. It was almost true. This true story is breathtaking.

Nando Parrado and his friends, rugby players, were flying to Chile when their plane had a crash in the middle of Andes among majestic mountain peaks at very high elevation. They were desperately stuck in Andes for 72 days, no warm clothes, water or food and mainly losing hope any help will come... they had to eat the dead bodies of their friends to survive. The hope for being rescued wasn´t realistic, so Nando and his friend Roberto tried to overcome the highness of mountains to reach civilization. It was a true miracle that they made it and nobody believed one could climb a huge mountain and very difficult terrain in such conditions of almost dead weak body without any climbers´ equipment. Nando and Roberto found help after 10-day-journey and others waiting by the crashed plane were rescued, though many people were lost in the mountains for good. They either died from the plane accident consequences or during the tough life in cold high mountains land.

The rescue was a miracle for all who survived. They were born again and they are now enjoying every moment of their life. They know what are the true priorities in one´s life.
We should feel and do the same too!

Nando is describing mainly his thoughts and what was happening within his and his friends´ minds. Inevitably the truth came up - where is the love, there can´t be death because love is stronger than death. Nando survived because he had a strong hope to meet his father, the love for his father helped him in the worst moments. It mainly helped him to overcome the power of mountains and to reach help for himself, for others, and mainly for his father giving him the gift of returned son (his mother and sister passed away in the mountains).

He is saying that there is no more philosophy needed than this basic idea:

It is my duty to fulfill my life and time the best I can, to become more human with each day and to understand that we are people only when we love. I love my friends honestly and with generosity. I love my kids with all my heart. I have loved one woman who gave my life its purpose and joy. I suffered from a big loss and I was blessed with consolation. The life gave me a lot and took me a lot, but always there is this simple wisdom: I have loved with all my heart and all my soul and I am loved for that. That is enough for me.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Clemente Fusero - Gándhí

J'ai lu ce livre depuis quelque temps et je le trouve vraiment trés intéressant. L'auteur non seulement raconte l'histoire de Vie de Gandhi mais aussi il décrit toute la situation des Indiens en Afrique du Sud où ils ont vécu comme les esclaves au début du 20e siécle. Labas Gandhi a commencé son mission comme un jeune avocat (il a étudié en Grande Bretagne). Personne n'a pensé ce temps que cet homme fragile va devenir une grande personnage de notre histoire et qu'il va avoir un tel influence de détruire la puissance de commendement britanique.
Depuis 1915 il est en Inde de nouveau et peu à peu il prépare l'Inde pour la séparation et pour création de l'état souverain et gagner l'indépendance. C'était l'essence de ca vie jusqu'à 1948 quand il a été assassiné. Il voudrait créer un état commun pour tout les Indiens mais les musulmans se sont séparés et ils ont cré Pakistan.

La plus importante iddée de Gandhi, c'est inséparablement la philosophie de Satyagraha ou étreinte de la vérité (satya = vérité, agraha = saisie) et signifie le principe de non-violence par la désobéissance civile. Avec cela et lié aussi Ahimsa - refuser de blesser ou insulter l'autre.

Il voulait faire le changement sans violence, pacifiquement. Est-ce qu'on ne manque quelqu'un de ces qualités maintenant?

Saturday, December 5, 2009

What is really important in the Relationship

I got this link discussing what is essential to observe in a relationship. I guess it is really valid in a real life so I am posting it here.

1. You tell him things you don't tell anyone else.

2. You let her see you in moments of weakness. She should be a comfort during tough times, not a burden. 6 Ways To Be Extra-Supportive

3. You respect him. You don't want to change the essence of who he is. There may be stuff that irritates you in everyday life but you like him, plain and simple.

4. You want him to meet your parents. You feel proud of him and you want to show him off.

5. You can imagine a future together.

6. You're not afraid to disagree with him. You know that even if you fight, he'll listen to you. He takes you seriously, even when he thinks you're wrong.

7. You want to work out your major differences.

8. You laugh together.

9. You're incredibly, utterly, surprisingly attracted to her.

10. It's OK to be quiet around her. You don't feel like you have to fill the space between you with chatter or other interaction.

11. You feel like yourself around him. You don't feel like you have to edit your thoughts; you're not self-conscious or anxious.

12. You need him the right amount.

13. You don't feel too jealous. You let each other have your own lives and hobbies.

14. You feel like she makes you a better person.

15. She just gets you. You feel like she understands some essential part of you that you can't explain or articulate.