What Men Say ... What Men Mean

Historically we know that men and women both think in a very different way. And always there are jokes about what men think when they say something, the same works for women.
This time the fun is aimed at men and their way of seeing things in their minds. This is the list I got from this link: http://www.ajokes.com/jokes/2403.html.

"I'm going fishing."
Really means... "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
"Let's take your car."
Really means.... "Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas."

"Woman driver."
Really means.... "Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me."

"I don't care what color you paint the kitchen."
Really means.... "As long as it's not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray, mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white."

"It's a guy thing."
Really means.... "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?"
Really means.... "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Really mean.... Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling.

"Good idea."
Really means.... "It'll never work. And I'll spend the rest of the day gloating."

"Have you lost weight?"
Really means.... "I've just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill."

"My wife doesn't understand me."
Really means.... "She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them."

"It would take too long to explain."
Really means.... "I have no idea how it works."

"I'm getting more exercise lately."
Really means.... "The batteries in the remote are dead."

"I got a lot done."
Really means.... "I found 'Waldo' in almost every picture."

"We're going to be late."
Really means.... "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

"Hey, I've read all the classics."
Really means.... "I've been subscribing to Playboy since 1972."

"You cook just like my mother used to."
Really means.... "She used the smoke detector as a meal timer, too."

"I was listening to you. It's just that I have things on my mind."
Really means.... "I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means.... "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"That's interesting, dear."
Really means.... "Are you still talking?"

"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
Really means.... "I forgot our anniversary again."

"You expect too much of me."
Really means.... "You want me to stay awake."

"It's a really good movie."
Really means.... "It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and Heather Locklear."

"That's women's work."
Really means.... "It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."

"Will you marry me?"
Really means.... "Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter."

"You know how bad my memory is."
Really means.... "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses."
Really means.... "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"Football is a man's game."
Really means.... "Women are generally too smart to play it."

"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
Really means.... "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."

"I do help around the house."
Really means.... "I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."

"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
Really means.... "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I can't find it."
Really means.... "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"But I hate to go shopping."
Really means.... "Because I always wind up outside the dressing room holding your purse."

"I'm going to stop off for a quick one with the guys."
Really means.... "I am planning on drinking myself into a vegetative stupor with my chest pounding, mouth breathing, pre-evolutionary companions."

"I heard you."
Really means.... "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"You know I could never love anyone else."
Really means.... "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"You look terrific."
Really means.... "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."

"I brought you a present."
Really means.... "It was free ice scraper night at the ball game."

"I missed you."
Really means.... "I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper."

"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Really means.... "No one will ever see us alive again."

"We share the housework."
Really means.... "I make the messes, she cleans them up."

"This relationship is getting too serious."
Really means.... "I like you more than my truck."

"I recycle."
Really means.... "We could pay the rent with the money from my empties."

"Of course I like it, honey, you look beautiful."
Really means.... "Oh, man, what have you done to yourself?"

"It sure snowed last night."
Really means.... "I suppose you're going to nag me about shoveling the walk now."

"It's good beer."
Really means.... "It was on sale."

"I don't need to read the instructions."
Really means...."I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help."

"I'll fix the garbage disposal later."
Really means...."If I wait long enough you'll get frustrated and buy a new one."

"I'll take you to a fancy restaurant."
Really means...."Someplace that doesn't have a drive-thru window."

"I broke up with her."
Really means.... "She dumped me."

A Good Woman (Movie)

I strongly recommend this movie full of truthful thoughts:-)
Here are some of them, in Czech version:

Některé ženy přinášejí štěstí, kamkoli přijdou. Jiné až odejdou.
Kdo vyjde zadními dveřmi, předními už nevstoupí.
Bigamie je jedna žena navíc, polygamie je to samé.
O manželství přemýšlím velmi, proto jsem svobodný.
Muž je šťastný s každou ženou, pokud není zamilovaný.
Lidé jsou buď kouzelní nebo otravní. Jestli jsem to druhé, tak se omlouvám.
Své slovo nejlépe dodržím, když ho nedám.
Muž by neměl kupovat ženě šperky. Bude zvědavá, co koupil milence.
Všude samí Američané. Člověk by neřekl, že je u nich krize.
Manželské blaho je občas velké břímě pro dva, a proto je musí někdy nést někdo třetí.
Kdybychom se řídili dle názorů jiných, k čemu by nám byly ty naše?
Pracujete? Peníze nespí.
Placená práce pohlcuje a opotřebovává mysl.
Hlouposti, které se nedají říct, se zpívají.
Co je horší, než když se o vás mluví? Když se o vás nemluví.
Nepomlouvej se sám, na to máš přátele.
Lidé říkají zkušenost lecčemu, často tím myslí omyl.
Ženy nechtějí být chápány, chtějí být milovány.
Občas čtu, ale nechci si narušit přirozenou nevědomost - je klíčem ke štěstí.
Žádná láska není tak čistá a prostá, jako ta k jídlu.
Klobásy a ženy - ani u jednoho si nepřejte vidět, jak se připravují.
Muži nevěří ženám, ženy nevěří ženám. Nikdo nevěří ženám. To spojuje hinduismus s křesťanstvím.
Klepy nevadí, nevkusné je moralizování.
Manželství je jako pokoj, kde nejde otevřít okno, protože tu žádné není.
Koupil jste vadný drb, vraťte ho.
Proč se tomu říká oltář? Protože se tam přináší oběti.
Ženy nás inspirují k velkým činům, ale brání nám v jejich naplnění.
Jídlo je skála, na níž stavíme.
Nemusím být první, ale poslední (v lásce).
Pláč je útočištěm pouze nehezkých žen, hezké nakupují.
Všichni jsme nad propastí. Nepohlédneme-li dolů, jak zjistíme, kdo jsme?

Je ne comprends rien

Je pense qu'on a des meilleurs relations pendant un long temps, mais tout à cout quelque chose s'est gâté. Peut-être c'est normal, alors quand je m'habituera enfin?
Je l'aime avec tout mon coeur, je veux seulement le meilleur pour lui, je veux qu'il serait heureux, je rêve d'être avec lui... il y a seulement lui dans ma vie et je ne peux pas imaginer il y aura quelqu'un d'autre. Pourquoi on fait des problèmes où ils ne sont pas?

Quoi sera aprés?

Il y a à peu près un mois et démie qu'on s'est séparé. Nous sommes toujours en contact. Souvant chaque jour au moins pour quelques minutes. Je pense que la séparation était très important pour nous. Pour notre future, pour notre abilité de rester en contact, pour garder notre amour. C'est marrant, n'est pas?
Quel paradox. De temps en temps je crois qu'on sera ensemble de nouveau... Il m'appelle alors je ne peux pas même finir ma pensée:-)

Le stage de travail

Hier j'ai participé au centre d'assessment pour savoir si je suis bien préparé pour aller à l'étrangère. C'était une bonne journée. J'ai fait connaissance avec des nouveaux amis et on a joué beaucoup des jeux variés pour analyser si on se comporte bien parmi les gens inconnus, en équipe, comment on se présente.
On a tous réussis et ça signifie on va partir pour travailler à l'étrangère, wohooo!

L'hiver est arrivé

Aujourd'hui c'était la première grande neige ici. En fait tout est disparu et il est plutôt humide mais c'était joli. Mes pétits neveus était heureux, ils vont aller skier tôt!

J'ai parlé un peu avec mon ami. La situation est meilleure mais nous sommes tellement différents que je ne crois pas qu'on pourrai avoir de bons rélations longtemps...

Я не знаю что делать

Сегодня я говорила с моим другом а мы не понимали себе. Я не знаю как поговорить с ним. Все плохо. У нас есть многие проблемы.

Green Card Lottery

Mon ami m'a envoyé ce link:
http://www.dvlottery.state.gov/

C'est la lotterie pour gagner la carte verte - le permit de travail aux Etats-Units et l'entrée au Canada sans visa. J'ai pensé qu'il y avait rien à perdre alors je me suis signée pour ça. Le résultat sera connu en juillet 2010.

Difficile à dire si je voudrais me bouger à l'Amérique du nord. Alors je laisse le destin à faire son travail. Je suis ouvert pour n'importe quelle opportunité.

Charles Schultz Philosophy

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz, the creator of the "Peanuts" comic strip. You don't have to actually answer the questions. Just read the text straight through - you'll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.

4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.

6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.



How did you do?



The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are not second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.



Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.



Easier?



The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.



Pass this on to those people who have made a difference in your life.
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." (Charles Schultz)

Tous les cultures du monde ont la même base

On peut dire que chaque culture a ses propres characteristiques, les gens ont une mentalité particulière. Mais je veux dire il y a quelque chose qui on a tous la même. Je crois que le gens sont tous les mêmes, quelques'uns sont plutôt bons, quelques'uns sont plutôt méchants. C'est bien si on peut être toujours tolérants. Les gens se comportent souvant d'après le moment, alors chaque fois différemment. Il y a toujours la bonne raison pour ce comportement. Si on ne le comprends pas, on doit demander, chercher l'origin de problème.